The Truth Behind *ahem* Whitesnake

Last night I was driving to HEB at some ungodly hour to buy batteries for my fat ass TI-84 Plus. I usually like to listen to my iPod when I’m cruisin’ in my whip but unfortunately the damn thing is on vacation at the moment (I lost it), so I’ve been listening to the radio instead. Normally I’m tuned in to 103.5 Bob FM (shameless plug for a pretty legit station) but I think last night I had it on some other station. After catching the tail end of a song I don’t remember, I got to hear this awesome number by ’80s metal band Whitesnake:

The guitar work is really heavy shit and I thoroughly enjoyed the song whilst sitting in the HEB parking lot all by my lonesome. I enjoyed it so much in fact, that when I got home and loaded those overpriced triple A batteries I bought into my calc, I started downloading The Best of Whitesnake… by Whitesnake! (DL’ed from The Pirate Bay, of course. BitTorrent til I die, bitch!)

If you haven’t listened to the song above yet, give it a shot. I realize that Still of the Night isn’t much by way of lyrical profundity (“Now I just wanna get close to you/ An’ taste your love so sweet/ And I just wanna make love to you/ Feel your body heat…”), but I thought, what the hell, these guys are clearly insanely talented and they wrote Here I Go Again, which is a great song that I really like. Surely they’ve made more music with depth. Surely they have at least a few songs I can sit down and really chew on for a while, really get some deeper meaning out of. Surely…

Not. With the sole and lonely exception of Here I Go Again, here are a few select songs from their best of album in no particular order: Fool For Your Lovin’, Love Aint No Stranger, Is This Love, Slide It In, Slow An’ Easy.

Here’s the chorus to Slide It In:

I’m gonna slide it in
Right to the top,
Slide it in,
I ain’t never gonna stop
Slide it in,
Right to the top,
I’m gonna slide it in, slide it in,
Slide it, in baby…

The rest of the lyrics are here.

Maybe this “best of” album is missing a lot of their better earlier work. I sure hope so. It seems to me that Whitesnake isn’t much more than a means for its constituents to play hardcore love songs and get laid on a constant basis… which makes them really bad ass, come to think of it! I mean, come on, even the name Whitesnake… 8===D~~. You get it now.

Hats off to Whitesnake for being incredible musicians, nearly hopeless lyricists and ultimate hardcore badasses.

“I’m gonna slide it in, right to the top! Gonna slide it in, I aint never gonna stop!”

Don’t ever stop, Whitesnake. Don’t ever stop.

-Mirabeau B.


1 comment so far

  1. dailycrockett on

    I feel that in many ways, Whitesnake just picked up the torch where these guys left it:

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